my baby

She carried me in her womb for nine months... She felt sick for months with nausea, then she watched her feet swell & her skin stretch & tear; she struggled to climb stairs, she got breathless quick; she suffered many sleepless nights. She then went through excruciating pain to bring me into this world. Then, she became my nurse, my chef, my maid, my chauffeur, my biggest fan, my teacher, & my best friend. She's struggled for me, cried over me, hoped the best for me, & prayed for me. That's my mother, my everything and my world, and there is her story.

What a beautiful young woman she made, and what a beautiful, bright old woman she makes right now. She used to have this pretty short red hair. With these amazing brown-greenish eyes, and the amazing smile that never left her face. She took care of herself, always dressed beautifully and wore makeup. Her lipstick would stuck on my face whenever she kissed me. She cared for everyone, old, young, retard, disabled. Nothing stood in her way, she was such a talented young woman with this big heart where the whole world can fit in it. Wow! The faith she had. She had tons of it.  She knew how to do everything on her own, she knew what she wanted.  She is married to this careless man, who thinks that he deserves more than her and more than the life he has. He just wanted a better life than the one he has I guess. Now She stood by him in better and worse.  He didn't really give her any attention. So she was desperate for some; therefore she changed her hair, hair color, makeup, but it wasn't enough; he wanted a thin chick with this perfect figure that she didn't have. He knew it was the only thing lacking her, so she tried. She tried all sorts of diets, but nothing worked.

Even though she was one of the most beautiful women over there, she never felt it. Little did she know nor feel.

She was a stay at home mom. Her husband didn't buy her clothes nor did he give her any money, he was a cheap man. That didn't really stop her from getting some on her own. So she started her own business in cutting hair, waxing women, she did their eye brows, hair, makeup, etc. With that money she bought a sewing machine and she sewed their clothes as well.

 She was a neat freak, her house was so clean. At that time, she had 4 kids, two girls and two boys. She deprived herself from things she wanted and bought them whatever they needed, 'cause their father was too busy chatting online or out with his friends,  basically she's the one who raised them, with a little help from her husband.

Like all women, she hoped for the best, she wanted more, she wanted a nice house  and a beautiful green garden. She tried to make that garden she always wanted but she didn't have the proper tools for it. So she gave up on this garden.
She kept asking her husband to give her money to buy the stuff she wanted for the house, but he always said no. They fought all the time. He'd hurt her all of her life. But she is still with him.
She was well-educated and well-mannered, fought for her beliefs.  knew how to treat people, didn't show anyone how miserable her life was, and she always had that beautiful smile on her face. She laughed at the battles she didn't win, loved her parents, especially her mom, and her five sisters and three brothers. They were so close to each other, some people envied them for their relationship; they wanted them to fall, they wanted something bad to happen, and soon enough their wish came true. Her precious mother had cancer, breast cancer.  Her mother had had it for three years without knowing.  But when it started to show, this disgusting whole appeared on the side of her left breast. At first, she couldn't believe it, she didn't want to believe it, she was terrified. After a while, she found it hard to breath, she went to a simple check up, when she finished it, she heard two nurses whispering " poor thing, she's too young" they said.  It scared her for a bit but she had too much to worry about so she ignored it, one summer day, she way lying down with her husband on the bed in their room, the phone rang, her husband answered, "hello" he said, then he just listened to whoever was on the phone, he looked like he's in shock, he couldn't breath, but somehow, she knew, she started to scream and weep, "I HAVE CANCER, DON'T I??!! " she said. She started shacking him, she wanted him to answer her, she yelled more and more, she wallowed, then he held her hand, "We will get over it" he said.  She looked at him, and at her scared kids that were looking at their Mommy crying and screaming, and cried some more. She couldn't believe that this is actually happening to her. She had never imagined herself with even gray hair, now she has to deal with cancer. At first she kept it a secret, first because she knew if her sick mom knew, then she will immediately die. Second, she knew that she is living with an ignorant society, and her, having cancer, would make some of them happy and the other half use it as a prove of how she deserved it. But because its such a small town, they knew, and they made  fun of her, but some, really loved her, they almost had heart attacks once they knew. Somehow, her mother knew, she almost died, she cried, well, both of them cried, and gosh what a heart breaker, to see these amazing women hugging each other and crying for their luck and life.  When one didn’t feel well, the other would go make food, even when she felt so tired and just couldn't walk. Time passed, she went to every appointment she had, and they told her that she gotta start her chemotherapy on the fourth of December 2009. But at that exact day, her mother died. She was sleeping at her house, and her house phone rang at 7am, she answered, and then all what everyone heard was "MY MOTHER IS DEAD!!!!!! MY MOTHER IS DEAD!!" she screamed.  It's like she didn't believe it and just wanted to share her misery with all the world, she ran bare foot to her mother's house with this pain in her heart, screaming, crying and slapping her face, so she wakes up from this awful nightmare.

After her mother's death, everything in her life started to fall apart. Her relationship with her family, her health, her desire to live, and no one tried to make it easy for her, her father got married and started a new life. Her husband start using her illness against her. He was desperate to get married but he was afraid of what people might say. That’s the only reason that stopped him. She took two kinds of therapy. She didn't give up on herself, even though at times she wanted to die, because they diagnosed her best friend with cancer and within two months, she died. It killed her. Her best friend left 7 children, 5 beautiful girls and 2 boys. So she couldn't take it. But in spite of that; she fought cancer, she fought it hard, she fought it with every thing she had, she fought it to honor her loved once, and won this battle for once in her life. She won it for her mother, she won it for her best friend,  she won it for herself, she won it for her children, she won it to prove to everyone on this earth that she deserves to live.

I wonder sometimes what I've done to deserve to live with such an amazing person such as herself, I think I'm so lucky to have her as my mother, I'm proud to say that she is the one who raised me, she is the one who taught me how to fight this world, she is the who gave me the desire to live, she gave me hope, she made me believe and know that I deserve only the best, she made me feel safe, she hugged me, wished the best for me, cared for me, and just was there all my life to support me, gosh, how could a person have such a huge heart, strength, and faith. She is a hardworking mom, and she is my hero, has helped me as much as she could no matter how good or bad I was, and is just the best Mom ever; and I think that I'm just blessed to still have her in my life. I mean goshhh you can replace a lot of people in life, but you only have one Mommy......and remember -anyone can be a mother but it takes someone special to be a Mom!

I'm so thankful for my mom, I thank God everyday for having her. She is everything I have in this world, she is my mother for fuck sake.

I will always honor, respect and love her, I will never ever forget what she have done for me and still doing just to keep the tears away from my face.

Mom; This one is for you love.

Every one has an angel, a guardian who watches over us, we can't know what form they'll take; one day old man, the next day, little girl. But don't let appearances fool you. They can be as fierce as a dragon. Yet they are not here to fight our battles but to whisper from our heart reminding that its us, its everyone of us who holds the power of the world that we create. Who honors those we love for the very life we live, who teaches us whats real and how to laugh at lies    Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend, who change us and who holds the key that can set us free.